Rant - Depression

I've hit a low. Some sort of depressive state that's inhibiting my ability to be positive about positive things. For example, I spend my life in front of this keyboard, so computers mean a lot to me. Yesterday, my new laptop arrived, and really I couldn't care less.

So what's my problem? I don't really know. Nothing substantial enough that it grants immediate recognition. My eating habits lately lick ballz, and I'm certainly not exercising to any acceptable degree. My girlfriend tells me I'm strong enough to just bite the bullet and get over it and I need to do so or it'll just get worse. She has faith in my strength. I don't know about it getting worse, but I feel more affection for this state than I do for the people around me. The idea of putting up a strong front sickens me.

On an emotionless level of raw logic and truth, the state itself has me thinking about the complexities of the mind and what could put me in this state. Something that's hurting me that I'm denying to see? Possible, but I doubt that. Maybe its some sort of weight-lifting necessary to flex my brain to an extreme, an unavoidable system diagnostic that I just have to live with. Maybe that's where the affection for it comes from, so my brain gives me what I need to let it roll to completion.

The question is do I fight it or wallow in it. We'll, I'm not taking any major steps I can tell you that. An all around good idea is to take a couple multi-vitamins and swim a few laps, so I'll give that a shot after work today. I could use the time to think.