Rant - Patchy Details

Some fun facts!

I finished a draft of a short story I've been working on. It's a fantasy called Bequeathed and is about a boy named Tanner. My brother has finished his critique and I'm awaiting another from Mike. Once I finish going through both, I'll post it here for ya'll to tear up.

I fell down today! Yup. It was raining as I got out of my CRV in the parking lot here at work, EXACTLY 8am (I wasn't late .. oh no .. *whistle*). I could see no snow outside the vehicle, just pavement covered in rain. Little did I know there was a nasty layer of black ice between the two. Unsuspectingly, as I stepped out and stood next to my door, I grabbed and slung my very heavy Dell XPS Gen 2 laptop carrying backpack over my right shoulder. That was exactly the twisting momentum my feet needed to abandon their post, leaving me to flop ungracefully to the pavement. I landed hard on my left arm and left ass cheek in a nicely blended mix of water and dirt. Ignoring my throbbing arm and my potentially damaged laptop, my first reaction was embarrassment and fear that someone may have seen me. What a stupid reaction eh? Stupid yes, uncommon no. I told my co-worker's the story and their first question was not "are you ok?" but "bwahahahaah! did anyone see you!?"

And because I am low on personal fun facts, here are the top 14 Chuck Norris facts:

1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
6. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
7. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
8. Chuck Norris' blood type is AK+. Ass-Kicking Positive. It is compatible only with heavy construction equipment, tanks, and fighter jets.
9. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
10. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
11. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
12. Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
13. Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
14. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

TPC