Girls - Example: My Girlfriend

Why do you girls insist on reading into everything? You do it thinking you can wean vast amounts of information from a single line spoken by your guy. Then the poor fellow tries to explain himself and you, wanting only to believe your original conclusion, twist everything he says to dig him into a hole, the evening into an argument, and the next few days into a slow makeup process (or worse).

This has been happening to me (at varying levels of severity) for so long that today I realized I'm a complete slave to it. Nicole has me trained like a 3 year old house pet. I uttered the usual innocent sentence then realized that her honed skill could contort the line into an attack. Fear struck into me. Luckily the conversation was via Messenger so I had a chance to defend the line prior to being asked to, hoping my clarification would soften the blow. It didn't exactly work, and that lead to a conversation about this very thing happening between her and I. Let's enter the Magic Kingdom, shall we?

Nicole: she's heading there at 6
Nicole: and will get a table for us all
Terry: ok
Nicole: I said it would be more like 6:30 before we arrive
Terry: time for us to go brush our teeth
Terry: you have to change I guess do you

Fear struck me when I reread that line.

Terry: that's too bad, cause you look fantastic. I really like that sweater on you

I thought that was a fairly descent recovery, thank you very much.

Nicole: lol
Nicole: I'm sure you do
Nicole: or did u just say that because you implied I should change
Nicole: not real good

I guess not.

Terry: I told you before I love that sweater
Nicole: you may love it for here (at work)
Nicole: but not that nice for going out somewhere
Nicole: so I can handle it if you would come out and say what's really on your mind sometimes meatball
Nicole: I just don't appreciate beating around the bush is all Terry
Nicole: then I question did he mean this or did he mean that. Cause the statement, 'you have to change I guess do you' can be taken different ways

I'm in it now. Best to lay it all on the line ...

Terry: well, here's another unnecessary and long breakdown of where it came from then
Terry: I first thought 'neat 6, that's when Nicole gets off so we can go right over' and by the time I thought that you had said you told her 6:30, and it doesn't take that long to drive there, so I assumed you wanted to go home and do something or other. My first guess was maybe touch up makeup and pee or poop or something and brush your teeth, but then I remembered how girls are generally picky about what they wear to the bar, so I thought maybe she's gonna change
Terry: so that's what I typed
Terry: then I realized 'oh yeah, Nicole's a girl. she's gonna twist that into a nasty remark.'
Terry: so then I came back with my other line about liking the sweater, which was TRUE btw, because even though you accuse me of lying every other day, you know I don't lie
Terry: so that's where it came from :)

Then come her next two lines and I realize she's playing with me. This whole thing is a ball of yarn to her, and I'm her ever predictable and controllable Terrypuss:

Nicole: lol
Nicole: I'm crackin

So, I try to think of a come back but everything I think of is weeaaak.

Terry: you are laughing because you know what you are like and that I'm right
Terry: and just for doing this to me again I'm pasting this to my blog

And so it all ends with my pitiful retort, and this posting on my virtually unread blog. I hope the few of you who wander across the place at least enjoyed the story.

Well, it's almost 6. I better go think up an original sounding compliment to give when she show's me what she's changed into ...

TPC